Sometimes it feels like more work than it's worth to get out of the house - especially with the baby thrown in. This last week I tried to look at it from a different perspective. I guess with Summer practically over (sigh) and the boys getting ever taller, I began to look at these days full of hard work, the bouts of crying, sometimes yelling, laughing, fighting, the awkward buckling of all three in the crowded backseat, sitting with Junie watching the boys run, sliding down slides, packing EVERYTHING up because someone has to inevitably go poop in the disgusting park bathroom (WHY must one of them always have to do this?) juggling snacks, water, stroller, diapers, etc., herding them all back to the car hot and tired and red-cheeked, whining with fatigue, unloading everyone from the backseat, reminding about going pee pee and washing hands right away and getting ready for a story and a nap, craving alone time and just a moment of peace and quiet.....
and I know that my life will not always be like this.
The boys have it in their mind that all the cool things they could ever want to to will be when they're teenagers. "Mama, when I'm a teenager I'm going to fly my own helicopter and you can fly in it with me." "Mama, when I'm a teenager I'm going to make dinner; mac n cheese and pancakes." And my favorite so far; "I love you a bunch 'a days, Mama. Even when we're teenagers I'm still gonna love you." I ask if they will kindly put that in writing so I can pull out the proof when they're 13.
This part of my life as a parent to little children who need so much will be over one day and I won't remember all of the things I think are so exhausting now. I will miss it. In theory I will long for them when they were "little" so instead of just waiting for that time to look back I try and remember to look around and enjoy it just as it is, right now.